Why Don’t We Pray?
Prayer may be the most powerful, and least utilized gift that God has given us. It is our direct line of communication with God, and we are told not only that God hears prayer, but also that He answers prayer. In the gospels we frequently see Jesus going away from the crowds and even away from his disciples to be alone in prayer. We see Jesus praying early in the mornings and late into the night. Prayer was how Jesus began and ended his earthly ministry.
But this prayer life modeled by Jesus wasn’t a special prayer relationship reserved only for the Son of God. In the book of Acts and in the Epistles of Paul, Peter, James, and John we see how often believers are called to prayer. It is not only a privilege to speak to God, but also a necessity. Paul frequently stressed that prayer was a defining characteristic of the Christian life, and the church leaders saw it as an essential part of every Christian’s journey. We all have a calling to pray for one another as well as for our lost neighbors. The author of Hebrews gives us a picture of Jesus as always interceding for us and he encourages us to seek the Lord in prayer as though we have been given access to the throne of grace!
You would think that with how often scripture stresses the importance and power of prayer, that we would be a people who are almost always in prayer. And yet, if we who are gathered here this morning are like most Christians across the world, we have to admit that there is a disconnect between the prayers we read about and the prayers we experience day to day.
Many of us, if we were honest, would have to admit that it is a struggle to make daily time for prayer and, when we do, we tend to sound like a broken record repeating the same lines over and over again. To borrow a phrase, it sometimes feels like our prayers don’t make it past the ceiling.
Where does that disconnect come from?
For some of us it’s a matter of just being too busy or too distracted. Either we overcommit ourselves so much that even the idea of finding fifteen minutes to pray feels unrealistic, or we are so accustomed to filling every moment with some sort of distraction that we are not sure we could really focus on a one on one conversation with God for more than a few seconds at a time. The urge to check our phones or fill the silence with music or a podcast is just too much.
For others it may be some combination of overconfidence in ourselves or a lack of confidence in God. Maybe we make the mistake of thinking that we have things under control and that we don’t need to bother God with the details of our life, as if prayer could ever be a bother to God. Maybe we make the mistake of thinking that prayer isn’t necessary, or that prayer is something we should save for big emergencies or when we are really stressed out.
Perhaps it’s just that we don’t think prayer could really make a difference. Maybe we have felt let down by prayer, that God was taking too long or the answer we got was not the answer we hoped for. Maybe the disappointments have stacked up so high that we wonder if God really cares for us, or maybe we just feel it is easier not to get our hopes up so we won’t be too disappointed if things don’t go the way we wanted.
For some of us a lack of prayer may be the result of shame. Maybe there is an ongoing pattern of sin or some unforgiveness that we aren’t ready to confront and so we opt out of prayer to avoid facing the problem we have worked so hard to avoid. We feel as though not praying is somehow better than praying as a hypocrite.
If any of this sounds familiar know that most all of us have been there at some point or another and you probably aren’t alone. I know for quite a while private prayer was one of the areas of my faith that I felt the least confident in. The good news is that God delights in imperfect, lackluster, unpolished prayer. One of the most common analogies used for prayer is that of a child talking to their father. If you have ever had the privilege of talking to a young child you know that you shouldn’t expect too much eloquence, focus, or cohesion (especially if they are young) but if you love the child you know that it does your heart good to hear them speak to you and that it makes you happy to meet their wants and needs, especially if what they want and need is to spend time with you.
I guess what I’m saying is do not be afraid of prayer. Even if you feel uneasy or embarrassed, know that your heavenly Father smiles upon your prayer. Like all good fathers he delights in spending time with you, He wants to meet your needs, and He doesn’t expect perfection. He knows that as you grow in prayer it will become more natural, to the point where prayer is as comfortable as walking and talking.
This morning’s sermon is going to be a simple message on prayer. Specifically, what prayer is and why it matters. My hope is that you will leave here encouraged and ready to grow in prayer during this new year. For some of you this will be nothing new, but to those prayer warriors out there I hope you will still find encouragement in this message, and perhaps something you can take and use to encourage your brothers and sisters in Christ who have a more challenging time with prayer.
So, let’s begin with what may be the most obvious point we make this morning…
Prayer Is A Conversation
When the scriptures address prayer they always do so as an honest conversation between a person (or a group of people) and God. Sometimes we are shown both sides of the conversation, but more often than not we only hear the prayer from the human side. The largest book in the Bible is the book of Psalms, which is essentially a collection of prayers that was put to music. And if you have ever taken the time to read the Psalms you know that they cover just about every human emotion and human experience. Sometimes the psalms feel uncomfortable with just how honest they are, but I also think that is part of the reason God included them in His Word.
Let’s spend a few minutes reflecting on this question: “Are our prayers honest, or are we playing a character or putting on a spiritual mask when we pray?”
Matthew 6 contains what is undoubtable Jesus’ most well-known teaching on prayer. You may have heard it referred to as the Lord’s Prayer and it is certainly up there (along with John 3:16 and Psalm 23) as the most widely memorized passages in all of scripture.
But before we get there I want to focus on the teachings that lead up to it:
5 “And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. 6 But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.
7 “And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words. 8 Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.
Both of these teachings essentially boil down to the idea that our prayers should be honest. They don’t have to be impressive, in fact the more intimate and private they are the more God values them because He knows you are not praying to impress Him or others.
Honest prayer is the best type of prayer. So let’s ask ourselves whether there are some feelings, thoughts, or topics that we are unwilling to bring before God in prayer. Sometimes I worry that we don’t really bring our heart before God because we don’t want to encourage or allow God to speak into that situation or feeling.
Here’s some examples if you aren’t sure what I am talking about…
How many times have we been angry at someone, but unwilling to pray about it because we know God would want us to forgive, or maybe even apologize. How about the last time you decided to treat yourself with a big purchase? Have you ever decided not to pray about buying that new truck, or fishing boat, or whatever it might be for you because you felt like God might have a different use for that money in mind? Maybe God does want you to buy that truck or boat, but He has some ideas about how you could use it?
The point being that sometimes we hide what we are really feeling or thinking from God because we honestly just don’t want His input. We want to be able to take our requests to God, but not to have our hearts searched by Him.
We already briefly mentioned how brutally honest the Psalms were, but listen to how David ended his prayer in Psalm 139:
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
24 And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting!
Would we be willing to pray like this?
One of the benefits of honest prayer is that we are actually bringing our true selves (not an idealized self) before God. There have been plenty of times when I was angry, frustrated, depressed or just outright grumpy, but you wouldn’t know it from my prayers. And in all honesty, all of those were missed opportunities for me to grow.
Maybe what I felt was justified, and God could have shown me ways to work through it in a way that would have made me grow more Christ like. Maybe what I felt was wrong, and I really needed to confess my sins or make amends. The point is God may have been trying to teach me something and I missed out on it because I was trying to lie to a God who knows everything.
And don’t mistake my comments as saying Christians shouldn’t buy boats, or new trucks, or even a nice cup of coffee every now and then. I am saying that God does want us to make decisions and to use our possessions in ways that honors Him, and that maybe there is something He is wanting to show you that you would miss out on if you aren’t tuned into Him.
Maybe buying that boat is a waste of money, or maybe it’s something that God will use to open up a friendship with a neighbor who needs to hear about Jesus. Maybe God doesn’t want you to buy that Starbucks coffee, and instead wants you to give that money to the homeless person you drove past on the way to the coffee shop. Maybe buying that coffee is fine, but maybe he brings a friend to mind that you can call while you enjoy the cup. Maybe he wants you to say something encouraging to the cashier who you wouldn’t have even paid attention to earlier.
Do you see what I’m saying? If God is Lord of our life don’t you think we should check in with Him as often as possible? Praying for things, big and small, is inviting God to speak into your life and to work on your heart. It is seeking to have an ongoing conversation with God all throughout your day. One of the shortest verses in scripture comes from Paul’s first letter to the church in Thessalonica, which simply says:
“Pray without ceasing”
– 1 Thessalonians 5:17
We know from countless examples in scripture, including in the life of Jesus, that God values time set aside when we can be alone and undistracted with God. But we also know from lived experience that we can’t spend all our lives on our knees in prayer or hidden away in our prayer closets. The good news is that prayer doesn’t have to end with Amen. We can pray anywhere and anytime. I’ve been in the middle of conversations and simply offered up a short silent prayer “God help me say the right thing” and I believe he honors those prayers.
Unfortunately, we have such a tendency to separate prayer from our lives that our prayer lives often feel stale and detached. God is honored when we acknowledge our need and when we seek His guidance in all things.
But instead of an ongoing conversation with God, many of us tend to use prayer as a crisis hotline. We spend a lot of time praying to be delivered from situations that might not have happened if we hadn’t waited until the last minute to pray.
We forget that God desires a friendship with us. He wants to be in your life and we should want Him in our lives as well. Prayer is a conversation with God.
Prayer Expresses Confidence
Prayer is not only a conversation, but an act of faith. Prayer is how we express confidence in God. We don’t come to God with spells or magic words that will make God more inclined to do what we say, instead we come to God in relationship, in faith that He loves us and hears our prayers based upon His love and grace.
During his earthly ministry we see that Jesus is constantly praying to God the Father, and he encourages all of his disciples to approach God with the same confidence, the confidence of a child approaching their loving father.
Pray then like this:
“Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name.
Your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
– Matthew 6:9-13 ESV
When we translate this into English it sounds so formal, but it really is a very intimate prayer.
He calls his disciples to refer to God not just as His Father, but “Our Father” in other places he uses the Aramaic word Abba, which is an informal word, much like the English words “Dad” “Daddy” or “Poppa”. Some during Jesus’ time, and even some today, get nervous about being overly informal with God. They fear that we are somehow diminishing God’s holiness, when Christ himself tells us to come as a child approaching their Dad. Nothing is too big for our Father, who can deliver us from evil and forgive our sins. Nothing is too small for our Father, not even our daily bread.
Notice that this is a conversation prayer. It’s not just making our needs and requests known, but it is also an invitation for God to show us how he might be calling us to live out His kingdom on earth. Prayer is not a list of demands, it’s not wishful thinking, it’s a frank and humble conversation with God about anything and everything. We pray with expectation that God hears our prayers and knows our needs.
One of the most powerful prayers in all of scripture is found in Luke 22, when Jesus is about to be arrested and crucified. Jesus knows that God has sent Him, as His Son, to suffer and die for the sins of the world, and yet Jesus prays an honest prayer to the Father:
And he withdrew from them about a stone’s throw, and knelt down and prayed, saying, “Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.” And there appeared to him an angel from heaven, strengthening him.
– Luke 22:41-43
This is a wonderful model of prayer for anyone who is going through a dark season of agony. Christ doesn’t mix words, he makes his request known “remove this cup from me” or in other words “if there is any way to spare me the cross then save me” but at the same time he submits to the Father and trusts that God will do what is best.
The cup is not spared Christ, and he will carry the cross and suffer and die for our sins, but notice God doesn’t just turn a deaf ear either. He sends an angel to Jesus who strengthens him for what lies ahead.
God did not give Jesus what his flesh wanted, but rather what his soul needed in that moment. The very next verse makes it clear that Jesus’ agony was not over, but God gave him the strength to do what God sent him to earth to do.
Sometimes, if we are honest, we are going to ask things that are not in God’s will to grant. God will say no, and while we might not understand why, there is a good reason behind every no. At the same time, God will answer the prayers we didn’t even know to ask. This is why prayer, true prayer, is an expression of confidence. We are confident not only that we are heard, but that God will do what is right.
Listen to this comforting passage from Paul’s letter to the Romans:
Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
– Romans 8:26-28
If you ever feel like you need to pray but you just don’t know what to say or where to start, then here is some good news! The Holy Spirit knows what you need even if you don’t. God is already on it and whatever it is or however it plays out, God will work it together for good. Your heavenly father doesn’t expect you to know exactly what to say. It is ok just to turn your heart and mind to him and seek to rest in his loving arms.
Which leads us to the second major aspect of prayer…
When we come to prayer with confidence that we are heard by our loving heavenly Father, the end result is peace of mind and a heart bent toward obedience. The peace of mind comes from confidence in knowing that God has heard us and that He will do what is right and good by us.
Listen to this short Psalm:
O LORD, my heart is not lifted up;
my eyes are not raised too high;
I do not occupy myself with things
too great and too marvelous for me.
But I have calmed and quieted my soul,
like a weaned child with its mother;
like a weaned child is my soul within me.
O Israel, hope in the LORD
from this time forth and forevermore.
– Psalm 131
David’s Prayer is an intimate meeting with God, it’s akin to a child resting in her mother’s lap. As most of you know, my daughter was born a little premature back in November, and she’s still not old enough to really express herself. She can cry when she is hungry, uncomfortable, or upset but that is about the full extent of her expressions. Still my heart melts every time I pick her up and her cries stop. She recognizes her father’s touch. She knows her father’s voice. While she can’t form words yet, she still brings her needs to me in cries, and when I pick her up and she calms down, she is expressing confidence that her father will take care of her.
When we have faith in our Heavenly Father that is prayer is. It is an expression of confidence and comfort in knowing that our Good Heavenly Father has us safely in His arms.
Listen to the words of Moses from the book of Deuteronomy:
For what great nation is there that has a god so near to it as the LORD our God is to us, whenever we call upon him?
– Deuteronomy 4:7
Moses wanted the people of Israel to realize that the God they worship, the same God we worship today, is a God who draws near to us. The heart bent toward obedience comes from confidence in knowing that, because God will be faithful and do right, we can be bold in trusting Him and in putting our faith to work.
Which leads us to our final point, and I will keep this one short for the sake of time…
Prayer Is A Form of Care
Every major figure in the Old Testament from Abraham to Moses to David and the Prophets, they are all shown praying for the people of Israel. Jesus taught his disciples to pray for one another as well as their enemies. Prayer was not just to help us on our journey, but also as a means of helping one another.
This is especially true for those who are powerless and vulnerable.
Then children were brought to him that he might lay his hands on them and pray. The disciples rebuked the people, but Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.” And he laid his hands on them and went away.
– Matthew 19:13-15
In the New Testament world few people were as vulnerable as Children, but Jesus took time to pray for them. He prayed for the leapers, and those who are hungry. He prays for the deaf and the blind. He prays for the cities that rejected Him. He prays for his friends as well as his enemies, and even for us here today.
There was truly no man, woman, or child that Jesus wouldn’t pray for. The same should be true for us, and especially as we pray for one another.
Prayer was such an important part of the early church’s ministry as it should be for us today. The apostles would not only pray for the churches they planted, but they would write to these churches and request that they pray for them in their ministries.
They asked churches to pray that they would for opportunities to share the gospel, that they would be delivered from persecution, and that no matter what happened to them, they would live lives that honored God.
They also prayed for churches to be joyful, full of hope, loving, patient in affliction, enduring hardship, and striving to do work of service and ministry wherever they went. They brought needs to one another in prayer, and the confessed their sins and prayed for each other, they prayed for each other’s healing and deliverance, and they prayed that God would do great works through each of them.
If we truly care for one another I believe we will pray for one another, and I believe that if we pray for one another, our love for one another will grow and grow. I believe not only that our prayers will be answered but our prayers will spur us on to greater acts of love and service in this coming year.
So in conclusion I want to ask that we commit ourselves to make 2022 a year of payer….
Prayer is a conversation with a God who wants to hear your heart and who wants to spend time with you. Prayer is an expression of confidence that God not only hears our prayers, but answers them in in his good and perfect time and through his good and perfect will. It is the most caring and loving thing you can do for someone, and nothing will make you grow in love like a life of prayer.
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