As many of you know, today is Valentine’s Day, a day in which many of us are going to be celebrating the people in our lives that we love and cherish. As English speakers we tend to use “love” as a catch-all word for a lot of different emotions. For example, I love my wife in a very different way than I love a stuffed crust meat-lovers pizza, but I use the same word and I trust you to use some context clues to pick up on the difference.
The Biblical authors actually had several words to choose from when they wrote about love.
- There is “EROS LOVE” which is the romantic and exclusive love we celebrate on Valentines Day. If you said you were “in love” with someone I’d assume you were talking about an Eros Love.
- There is “PHILOS LOVE” which is the type of love you might have for a good friend or a relative. Someone you have lots of memories and shared experiences with. They are someone you care about, sometimes deeply, but it’s different from romantic love.
- Then there is “AGAPE LOVE” which is a very special kind of love. It’s a love that is unmerited and self-giving. It is the type of love that expects nothing in return. It is like the love a parent feels towards their child. Unmerited, in that the child doesn’t have to do anything to earn the love. Self-giving, in that the parents put much more into the parent/child relationships than they expect to get back – and that’s ok because we do it all out of love.
AGAPE LOVE is actually the most common word that the New Testament authors use to describe God’s love for us – we don’t deserve it, we can’t earn it, and we will never love God as much as He loves us – but God is still happy to love us anyway. It’s also the word that Paul uses in his first letter to the church in Corinth to explain the type of love that Christians are called to have for one another. This tells us that, in our own imperfect ways, we are called to try to love one another in the same ways that God loves us.
So if you have your Bible’s we are going to be in 1 Corinthians 13 this morning, a chapter is often called the “Love Chapter” in scripture – and for good reason. It might be the best definition of love ever put into words.
Paul was writing to a church that seemed to be having some heated disagreements about spiritual gifts, and so he begins his teaching on love by reminding them that Christ-like love is the most important and most essential gift that God has given to his church.
In fact that is going to be our first point this morning…
LOVE IS THE ESSENTIAL GIFT:
Let’s look at Paul’s words in verses 1-3…
1 If I speak human or angelic tongues but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith so that I can move mountains but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 And if I give away all my possessions, and if I give over my body in order to boast but do not have love, I gain nothing.
1 Corinthians 13:1-3 (ESV)
Paul tells the believers that – without love – their words (whether human or angelic) are just noise. Without love, the gift of prophecy – having access to special hidden spiritual knowledge – it would have no value. Without love, the gift of faith – even faith strong enough to move mountains – cannot accomplish what it was meant for. Even a life of service, sacrifice, and great works – done without love – gains nothing. That’s a lot to wrap one’s head around.
Now none of the gifts Paul mentions here are bad, in fact all of them are very good. Paul’s point is that if we seek to build a life of faith on these gifts, talents, and abilities without first laying a firm foundation of love, the whole thing will collapse in time.
Jesus himself said that it was love for one another that was the mark of a true disciple.
34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. 35 By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
John 13:34-35 ESV
Love is the mark of a true Christ-follower. Jesus also said that love was the beginning and the end of obedience:
15 “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.”
John 14:15 ESV
36 “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” 37 And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 38 This is the great and first commandment 39 And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself .40 On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”
Matthew 22:36-40 ESV
Basically, when we love God the way we should – we will keep his commands. And when we consider God’s commandments, they really all boil down to loving God and loving one another the way God designed us to love.
John would go so far as to say that if you miss this foundation of love you miss everything.
Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.
1 John 4:8 ESV
God alone is the source of love, and he uses his believers as conduits to express his love in the world. Because we have received God’s love, we are called to carry out that love into the world by loving our neighbors.
But if we are going to place such importance on love, it is a good idea to define what love is. Thankfully we do not have to define what love is, because God’s Word has defined it for us.
WHAT IS LOVE?
God is love. All true love comes from God, and so God gets the final say on what love is and what love is not. I could spend a lot of time here, but I think it would be better to just get right into the text. Let’s read how God’s Word defines what love is and what love is not…
4 Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, is not boastful, is not arrogant, 5 is not rude, is not self-seeking, is not irritable, and does not keep a record of wrongs. 6 Love finds no joy in unrighteousness but rejoices in the truth. 7 It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (ESV)
I want to spend more time focusing on what love is, but before we get there I think we have to spend a some talking about what God says that love isn’t…
LOVE IS NOT :
I’m going to rephrase these attitudes and actions that God’s Word are NOT love and as you listen, I want you to see if you can find a commonality…
- Love is not envious, boastful or proud;
- Love is not easily angered, self-seeking or dishonoring of others
- Love is not a keeper of grudges or a one who delights in evil or sin.
It seems to me that a common theme in these anti-love attitudes, is caring about ourselves too much and caring about others too little. Think about this…
- The boastful or proud person isn’t content with succeeding. They want to be praised and admired for their success. These are the people who might do good things, but they do them to be seen and praised for their good works.
- The envious person or the person who dishonors others (the rude person) is the person who will tear down another to build themselves up. If true love is putting others before yourself, then this is the opposite.
- The easily angered person or the keeper of grudges is someone who loves themselves so much that any offense or inconvenience is treated like a personal attack. This person sees the world as a place full of personal injustices. They burn out their emotional fuel tank on anger and resentment so they have no energy left to love.
The sad thing is that these people live inside each and every one of us, and when we give in to theses desires and act on these impulses, we become the one who “delights in evil.” Every Christian is a work in progress. The Bible word for that process is “sanctification.” But a work in progress implies that there is progress. It may be slow, but we should expect to see it in our lives.
Like I said, I don’t want to spend all this sermon talking about what “love is not”, so let us get into what God’s Word says that “love is.”
LOVE IS:
Let’s revisit our passage in 1 Corinthians so we can get refreshed. I’m going to read it again one more time, but this time we are going to focus less on what love is not, and more on what love is…
4 Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, is not boastful, is not arrogant, 5 is not rude, is not self-seeking, is not irritable, and does not keep a record of wrongs. 6 Love finds no joy in unrighteousness but rejoices in the truth. 7 It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (ESV)
The “not love” impulses were all about caring more about ourselves than others, but the “love” attitudes and actions are all others-centered.
Love is patient. Biblical patience is to keep a long view, and not to lose heart in bearing the offenses and injuries of others. It’s the opposite of being “easily angered and holding onto grudges.” Love is patient because love cares for the person in the long-view, far beyond the current moment. It’s to try to see people beyond their worst moments, to try to take a God’s eye view of the person we are called to love.
Love is kind. Biblical kindness is just acting with goodness towards others. It is using our words and actions to build others up as opposed to the envious, the proud, or the rude who are all about self-promotion at the expense of others. It’s what Paul was writing about in his letter to the Philippian Church when he wrote:
Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.
Philippians 2:3 (ESV)
Love rejoices in truth. God’s truth, not the cultural or individual so-called truths that are here today and gone tomorrow. The world is always changing, but the truth of God’s Word is eternal. Notice it doesn’t just say that love “believes truth” or “affirms truth”. No, God says that love “rejoices in truth.” Being silent about God’s truth is not loving. Hiding the truth is certainly not loving. As Christians we are always called to speak truth in love, even if the truth is unpopular.
1 Blessed is the man
who walks not in the counsel of the wicked,
nor stands in the way of sinners,
nor sits in the seat of scoffers;
2 but his delight is in the law of the Lord,
and on his law he meditates day and night.
Psalm 1:1-2 (ESV)
If we believe God’s Word is true… and if we believe that God is love… then why should we be ashamed of God’s Word? Sometimes it takes courage to be truthful, but love rejoices in truth because truth leads us back to God who is love. In the same vein, love is always protecting (bears all things). Love wants to protect, not to do harm. Like a good physician, love never creates a wound unless the wound is necessary for healing. The reason we speak truth in love, is because we know the danger of living apart from God’s truth.
Love believes all things. I don’t think this is a call to be naive or gullible. I believe this is a call to take the Gospel seriously. It doesn’t mean you have to keep opening up yourself to the same abusive lies and mistreatments (watch Bro. Brian’s sermon on Boundaries from last week), but it does mean that we never give up praying and believing that change is possible. I believe that there is a reason why Paul put this attribute of love right next to… “love hopes all things.” Love looks forward with hope, knowing that God can and will work things together for good.
Paul would reiterate this idea when he wrote to the Church in Rome:
Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.
Romans 12:12 (ESV)
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.
Romans 15:13 (ESV)
Remember that love is patient – love cares for the people with a long-view – and love believes that change is possible.
It is so hard to love once you allow yourself to lose hope. Some of the hardest conversations I have are with people who have tried to love for so long, but they are just about ready to throw in the towel.
The only thing I can tell them is that they have try to focus, not on the individual who seems incapable of change, but on the God who can open blind eyes, unlock deaf ears, and raise the dead to new life. I think Paul knew that hope is hard sometimes, and I think that’s might be why Paul wrapped up this section by saying, “love endures all things.” Love holds on even when times are tough.
It is interesting that we so often think of love as a feeling, when really love is a lifestyle. It’s a choice we make every day. Moment by moment we get to choose whether or not we will love. And let me tell you something that God keeps showing me over and over again, you never regret loving others the way God intended. That doesn’t mean it’s easy, but it is infinitely worth it.
There is one last point I want to make, and I will keep this one short.
LOVE NEVER ENDS
Let’s finish up 1 Corinthians 13…
8 Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. 11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. 13 So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13:8-13 (ESV)
There is much to be said here, but I believe the core message that we should take away is this… love (true love from God) is unending.
Roger Zerbe, who suffered from early onset Alzheimer’s disease, journaled this to his wife Becky after a particularly troubling bout of forgetfulness.
Honey,
Today fear is taking over. The day is coming when all my memories of this life we share will be gone. You and the boys will be gone from me. I will lose you even as I am surrounded by you and your love. I don’t want to leave you. I want to grow old in the warmth of memories. Forgive me for leaving so slowly and painfully.
Roger Zerbe, “Penning a Marriage,” Marriage Partnership
Becky wrote the following back to him:
My sweet husband,
I will continue to go on loving you and caring for you — not because you know me or remember our life, but because I remember you… I cherish the pleasure, obligation, commitment, and opportunity to care for you because I remember you!
Becky Zerbe, “Penning a Marriage,” Marriage Partnership
How wonderful to know that we are loved, and that love doesn’t stop even when our bodies and minds begin to slow down. Do you know that the God who made the stars and formed you in your mother’s womb is incapable of forgetting you?
“Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you.”
Isaiah 49:15 ESV
Love never ends because God is love and God does not end. Love is the deepest possible expression of God’s character.
- God created the world in love.
- In love, God patiently guided his people with kindness and with truth.
- In love, God endured our sin and rebellion, protecting us from the choices we made.
- In love, God gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life (John 3:16)
- In love, God has given us hope and a future that we could never have hoped for apart from Christ (Jeremiah 29:11)
- In love, God has given us his Holy Spirit who will strengthen us, help us, and give us the endurance to keep going (Isaiah 41:10)
There will come a day when most things that we thought were so important will pass away, but God’s love will remain forever.
In essence, our call to love is a call come and join in God’s Love, which has always been and always will be, now and into eternity.
As God’s word says “We love because he first loved us.” 1 John 4:19 (ESV).
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